Category: I write


Undead Poets Society

My friend Tim Keeton approached me last month to become a part of a niche-worthy, if not elite, group of writers: The Undead Poets Society. (You’ll see my badge of charter membership along the right column of this page.)

My first post was a 2005 vintage, a poem called “Daylight Savings Haiku.”

My second contribution is a sensuous take on vampirehood:

Hunger

Slow at first
At first,
Measured
With/by/for
Muscle.

Get that taste
That taste,
Over
And over,
And over and over.

It is life
Your life, now
And ever.

Some have pointed out that this doesn’t necessarily “scream” vampires. Sure! Opportunity for different interpretations is one of the many beauties of abstraction…

Library-love Updates

Progress.

Some time has passed since the “I Love Libraries” blog challenge, and I must share the results!

This year, Jennifer Hubbard’s brainchild raised over $5,300 in cash plus $300 in books, from among 40+ blogger participants like myself. She updated her blog in three (three!) parts: Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3. As for my personal comment/donation total: I saw your $128 and rounded up to $150, and recently mailed the check to Evanston Public Library Friends. ¡Excelente! Thanks, readers and commenters! (Unfortunately, I did not hear back from Jeremy Piven’s verified account on Twitter. Having spent his formative years in Evanston, I figured he’d be game for at least a reply tweet – but I got nothing. Evanstonians, unite!)

On that note: Evanston Public Library Friends have been fundraising to keep their branch libraries open, and they’re well on their way to a six-month, $200,000 goal. This $200K will fund the existing branch libraries through the end of the fiscal year, including South Branch rent for the next fiscal year. It will also expand neighborhood outreach, including a newly board-approved reading program in west Evanston.

Coming up is EPLF’s biggest fundraising effort yet.

Evanston Public Library Friends’ Armchair Auction
Kicking off this Saturday, May 15, online.
Bid until Wednesday, June 2, from the comfort of your internet connection.

You don’t have to live in Evanston to appreciate these prizes. You can even browse the drool-worthy selections NOW before the fun begins!
You’ll find:

  • Dinner with best-selling author, Evanston native Audrey Niffenegger
  • Autographed copies of Evanston author Scott Turow’s best-sellers
  • Sox, Bears, Blackhawks tickets
  • Artwork
  • Jewelry
  • Spa treatments
  • Vacation getaways

These fantastic prizes (and more) go live May 15th through June 2 on www.eplfriendsauction.org.

Do NOT miss this fun, genius way to help support libraries and literacy.

If you’d like to donate an item for auction, please visit www.eplfriendsauction.org or email auction@eplfriends.org.

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This morning, I attended an author talk at Story Studio on “Shameless Promotion: How to Market Your Writing.” Representing the shameless were Claire Zulkey (author of An Off Year, writer for The Onion A.V. Club and L.A. Times); Johanna Stein (TV writer, essayist of the daringly hilarious and hilariously daring); and James Kennedy (author of The Order of Odd-Fish, friend, and blog usurper). I treated the talk as a kick-off for my day of manuscript-revising. (Operative word: “kick”; as in, “in the ass”; as in, “You’re so close. Get in there, girl!”) But, I also felt it was worth a quick blog.

As a digital marketing biz person (I’m a Copywriter for Critical Mass), I’m always curious to spy the natural intersections of art and communication, affinity and promotion. I’m a nerd; I like this branding stuff. It’s the side of the pool from which I push off regularly, into my personal fiction work.

As they answered questions, the authors’ drastically different backgrounds informed, you guessed it, drastically different answers. They seemed to strive for bite-sized distillations of career advice for their hungry-writer audience – and a theme emerged: I recognized an opportunity, took it, and had fun with it, fueling others’ excitement about my work. With this attitude, the worst-case scenario is you having fun. Not too shabby.

If something fascinates you, pursue it. Claire Zulkey interviewed James Frey pre-memoir scandal, which led to a little call from Anderson Cooper. James Kennedy made an indelible mark with the ALA in a way both silly and relevant, and connected with Odd-Fish fans to curate and cultivate an equally enduring fan-art event. Johanna Stein shied not from human nature, sharing her cringe-worthiest experiences to create some of the most memorable humor available in print.

I like to think of Anne Lamott’s one-inch picture frame from Bird by Bird, which breaks a goal down into more manageable parts. In fact, “branding” is an intimidating, heart-palpitating word. So, forget it. Instead, keep an eye out for fun as you go, in the name of connecting with someone who gets you and your work. Look for relevant opportunities of any size that trigger your fun-meter. If something speaks to you, your genuine excitement will speak to potential friends and fans.

Sassy magazine was right – just be yourself.

So, did my theory work? If you enjoyed this post, leave a comment below. Sharing is caring.

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Choose Your Own Adventure: The Mendigans

Normally I wouldn’t tell my readers to wait a minute… but wait a minute!

This is part of a Choose Your Own Adventure story, among blogs. The story begins with Barry Northern’s blog. That’s where you’ll meet 14-year-old Michael, the main character. Barry’s segment of the story presents two options at the end. Choose one, follow the link, and you’re on an adventure!

If you came from Mari Blaser’s entry, you chose “Go to the mall”:

Mendigans at the Mall? (Ohmigod!!)

“Gabberty-flizzz… I mean, hello.” On his way in, the alien officer inched as far from the checkout desk as possible. He cleared the magazine racks with a creak and shushhh. “What’s playin’ on the radio?”

Michael and Latoya exchanged a cautious glance. Mr. Brown handed Michael a small, tattered card. It read:

Don’t look at the tentacles. IGNORE them, and the alien ignores you.

But Latoya was already moving toward the door. “No radio here, sir. That music’s for… suckers.” Looking down at his tentacle-prints, her eyes moved toward the source: his gelatinny, slimerous, sucker-encrusted—

Michael jumped forward, breaking the line of Latoya’s tentacle-view.

“They don’t have the latest BadSad here. Let’s go, babycakes.”

The officer’s unibrow furrowed before turning back to Mr. Brown. His voice trailed off as they shuffled out. “Say, do you have any Kanye We— Oh! Got it. ‘Touch the Sky’ is my SONG!”

Reaching a safer distance, Latoya chuckled. “Babycakes? Really?”

Michael sighed. “It worked, right? Saved us from a world of hurt. From now on, ignore all tentacles.”

The spanking-new mall complex had just opened across the street, complete with a ribbon-cutting concert. Michael’s band Nixie Knox slogged through Debbie Gibson and Tiffany tunes for the occasion. He played his sweet black bass, and the drummer was a… Mendigan? That can’t be right. But it was. Or was it?

Latoya looked down at her hands. “Michael, am I a Mendigan?” Her face was blank – she wasn’t kidding. They had to hurry – the mind tricks were getting stronger.

The closest entrance was Tesh’s “Variety” Store. (The owners felt “department” turned people off.) Latoya reached the doors first, throwing them open. She was tough for a girl her size – any size, really.

Michael broke into a sprint, with a jut of his head. “Down there, in red.”

The five-story atrium in the center, filled with serene daylight, made the other end of the mall seem miles away. Fluegelhorn muzak accompanied the sound of their desperate feet, running the straightaways and stomping around burbling fountains. When they finally reached the music store’s red, glossy doors, bubble-lettered signs greeted them: “Welcome to Media Depot!!”

Michael pointed to the hot pink signage. “You take Country down here. I’ll go upstairs to Pop.”

Latoya bustled to the S’s, and shuffled through. Clack clack clack. She hit it – a mother lode of Swift. The store even had rare recordings from her first contract – the one she dropped to pursue her own music.

“Michael, I found her!”

As soon as Latoya shouted, a slithery Mendigan descended upon her. Two more alien forms fell in lock-slither behind it.

“Who’ve you found, dear?” All the aliens blinked at once, waiting for an answer. Latoya seemed dumbstruck, focusing all her attention on those twelve eyes.

Michael thumped down the stairs. “We’re looking for humans. Aren’t you?” The Mendigans turned in one smooth motion. Standing in the stairwell’s shadow, Michael had long, undulating extensions where his arms should’ve been.

“Ah, your change has begun. Don’t be afraid, young one. You’ll be just fiiiiine.”

Latoya balked. She had to get away, and fast. On a raised, central platform sat an enclosed DJ booth. The door was wide open, so Latoya ran for it. Mendigan Michael followed. She was small and fast, but size trumps those. She had no chance.

“Latoya, it’s me – promise!” he huffed, gaining on her. She slipped into the booth, locking the door between them.

He banged on the door. “I’m okay, I’m okay!” Sure enough, Michael held two prank snakes. And his ears were human, even if they stuck out a little. More aliens gathered around the booth. Latoya let Michael in. As they slammed the door, a Mendigan’s suckery tentacle pried inside the doorframe.

“Got this,” said Michael. He shut the door, but not without a mess. The Mendigan howled and scurried away, one tentacle lighter.

Hands fumbling, Latoya played Taylor’s rare early track backwards over the loudspeakers. “Afewijnkd vlijlk sfkjkjs…” Nothing.

Next, she tried Taylor’s self-titled debut.

“Listen now,” a clear voice lilted. “My family has studied the Mendigans’ plan for generations. I had to stay true to my songwriting, so I could tell you what the oracle told me.”

Michael’s mouth fell open, and Latoya gasped.

As they listened, Taylor directed them to play “Love Story” backwards to attract the Mendigan network. “I’m still working on the next step. Please keep listening. I have millions of fans, but the world needs you now.”

More Mendigans crowded the booth, tentacles thrashing and frenzied.

Latoya played Taylor’s next album. The first backwards track said, “Here it is, tested and foolproof.” Michael and Latoya stared, unblinking, at the speakers. “Play ‘Stay Beautiful’ backwards to burst their slimedrums.” A heavy sigh interrupted the message. “The oracle said criss-crossed lasers change the Mendigans back to their original human forms. As much as I tried, I couldn’t secure this weapon. I’m sorry I’ve let you down.”

Michael and Latoya scoured the room, as if they’d find a battery of laser guns tucked in a cubbyhole. Latoya spotted a stack of inventory listings, with a scanner gun. She drew in a breath.

“Michael, the scanners!”

He beamed, and popped his knuckles. “That’s what I call retail therapy.”

Latoya twisted the dial on “Love Story.”

“Let’s do this.”

Thanks for reading my part of Choose Your Own Adventure: The Mendigans.
Let me know what you thought below!

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